Sunday, August 31, 2008

Are You Type-F?

Yesterday, I classified my life as “fluid.”

I live each day prioritizing on the fly among my family, my job, and everything in between.

My peers in the digital marketing and media world know all too well what I'm talking about here. We're always connected, always on, and always moving full-steam ahead.

We’re freewheeling, flexible, forward-thinking, fast-acting, and live a fluid lifestyle. Collectively I call us Type-F.

How do you know if you're Type-F?

If you've ever taken a personal call during a work meeting, you're Type-F.

If you've ever taken a work call during dinner with your family, you're Type-F.

If you've ever updated your Facebook status with something work-related, you're Type-F.

If you've ever blogged about your personal life on your work-related blog, you're Type-F.

If your Blackberry is also your personal cell phone, you're Type-F.

If you've ever sent an email while driving, you're Type-F.

If you've ever sent an email (or hopped on a conference call) from the bathroom, you're Type-F.

If you have as many LinkedIn contacts as Facebook friends, you're Type-F.

If you've ever sent an IM to someone while you're on the phone with them, you're Type-F.

If you've ever fed your child with one hand and checked your Blackberry with the other, you're Type-F.

If your first instinct after your baby takes his/her first steps is to tell everyone about in on Twitter, you're Type-F.

If you don’t carry pictures of your kids in your wallet but have digital photos of them on your Blackberry or iPhone, you’re Type-F.

And if you’re reading this list on the day I posted it (the Sunday of Labor Day weekend), you’re definitely Type-F!

Update 8/31 - Bill "Type-F 110%" Wise inspired this beaut:

If you've ever sent an email from Church or Temple, you're Type-F.

Updates 9/2 - Chris "Pot Calling the Kettle Type-F" Carlson asked if I stole this bit from Jeff Foxworthy, prompting these adaptations:

If you sleep with a blackberry and shotgun under your pillow, you’re a Type-F Redneck.

If you and your husband/wife work at the same company, you’re a Type-F Redneck.

If you used Google Suggest to pick the name of your child, you’re a Type-F Redneck.

Bryson "The SEO King of Chicago" Meunier made me think of this one:

If you postpone your honeymoon so you can speak at a trade show, you're most certainly Type-F.

Updates 9/3 - Stacey "I'm gonna be so embarrassed when I read this" Harris knows this one all too well:

If you get engaged at an industry conference, you're totally Type-F.

Here's one I'm guilty of:

If the ability to achieve a page 1 ranking on Google influenced the name you gave your child, you're Type-F (not to mention, an SEO nerd.)

Lee "I'm definitely Type-F" Odden triggered this one at 5:30am today:

If you send a work-related Tweet before 6 in the morning, you're Type-F (and a tweetard!)

Update 10/10 - Brooke "F-ing Nerd" Nichols offers this up:

If you make search engine optimization jokes at a non-digital party, you're Type-F. (So how many black hat SEO's does it take to change a light bulb? 4... 1 to guarantee results, 1 to reverse engineer the socket, 1 to cloak the bulb, and 1 to take credit and brag about it on his blog.)

Update 10/11 - Just remembered this proud moment from a business meeting in Durham, NC earlier this year:

If you bust your lip on a steel beam because you're on your Blackberry and not watching where you're walking, you're Type-F (and destined to walk back into your meeting and hand a note to the CEO of the agency that reads, "Can't talk, walked into beam, busted lip, don't worry, won't sue.)

Update 1/4: - The Type-X Lance Neuhauser (yes, he is a type all unto his own that cannot be defined) suggests that I need to be more Type-Chill and that my fluid lifestyle will lead to burnout. To which I responded, "I'll sleep when I die." So there's another one folks -- If you've ever uttered the phrase, 'I'll sleep when I die,' you're definitely Type-F.

Update 1/12: Dyslexic David "F-Type" Barnes asks if reading my 5 of my 17 blogs at the same time in separate tabs qualifies. David, if you need to ask...

F-Type Barnes and the afore-mentioned Type-X Neuhauser also contributed to this musing -- if your mobile motion sickness from over-blackberrying in the car has escalated into a full-on mobile motion disease, you are most certainly Type-F.

Update 1/24: Looks like my Type-F label is catching on. Brad "Totally F'd" Bauer cast himself as such on Facebook a few days ago. Clearly, his friends are either not hip to the lingo or in denial of their own Type-F-ness.

Brad Bauer is Type F

Update 2/7: OK, here are a couple ways to know if you're NOT Type-F...

If you use Outlook for your work calendar and Google for your social calendar, you are definitely NOT Type-F. Thanks to Lauren "Type-Un-F" Mittleman for the inspiration on that one.

And Stacie "Getting more F'd by the day but still not quite there" Susens embodies this one... If you have 2 Blackberries -- 1 for work and 1 for personal use -- you are NOT Type-F.


Anonymous said...


What about being on your blackberry during holidays (in which you can exchange messages with other Type-F's) and bb during sporting events and/or concerts... Bad crap, we need help... Also, bb while going to the bathroom is called the crapberry...

Aaron Goldman said...

WT-F man! Good call on the holiday one. Will add that to the list.

CJeffCampbell said...

Just read this on my mobile RSS while in the toilet...

dgould said...

Read this while downloading a movie to my iPod and simultaneaouly watching a recorded DVR show ... who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Here's to being over 40 and still type-F.

Aaron Goldman said...

Don't worry Gouldo, I won't blow your cover and tell everyone how you poked me when you first joined Facebook. ;)

Michael Bivens said...

If I make search engine optimization jokes at a non-digital party, does that make me an F-ing nerd?

Aaron Goldman said...

Ummm, yes, Brooke. Would love to hear the joke though!

David J Barnes said...

Reading 5 of the 17 Goldman founded blogs launched in separate tabs, F-Type?

Brad said...

and a screen shot too! i've been a bit behind on my blog reading....and this is my punishment, i guess.

JM said...

If you don't WANT to have a PERSONAL LIFE and you're a work-drone, thinking all around work-related studd 24/7/365. Does it make you a type-F? If so then I'm so NOT TYPE F.

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