Happy Birthday! Love, Your Wall

We all know that the Internet has changed the way people communicate. Some folks think it will completely replace human interaction as we know it. After celebrating my birthday today, you can now add me to that camp.

The Envelope Please

I decided to tally up all the different ways people sent their b-day wishes today. Here's the final count...

In Person - 5 1/2 (4 of which I ran into at an industry event, 1/2 credit to my 15 month old daughter, Eliara)
Phone calls - 8 (2 live, 6 voicemail)
Cards - 8 (pretty much the same people that called)
Text Messages - 3 (1 of which I'm still not sure who it's from)
Email - 5 (including 1 e-card... thanks Grandpa!)
Twitter - 4 (3 @ messages, 1 direct message)
Facebook - 81 (73 wall posts, 5 comments on my status, 2 direct messages and 1 gift)

It's the Thought that Counts, Right?

Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment but there's something so very impersonal about a b-day message splattered on your wall after being prompted by a reminder from Facebook.

Of course, I'm guilty of said splattering myself. I used to store people's birthdays in my Outlook calendar and email people on their special day. For a few years, this was quite the effective technique. But I've gotten lazy (not to mention, feel like emails stand out less in a sea of Facebook notifications) and, except for my closest friends and family, just give the ole b-day FB ping these days.

Quantity vs. Quality

So the question becomes -- is this a good thing? I can tell you, I've never had more people remember my birthday nor reach out with b-day love than I did this year. But I've also never had so few phone calls.

There's certainly something to be said for the ease of connectedness that the Internet has brought us. But at what cost?

In the future, will people even talk to each other?

Update 7/12: This post seems to have struck a chord with my friends and family. Apparently I made some people feel a little self-conscious. Sorry, not my intent!

First off, since I published this, another 10 b-day wishes came thru (1 card, 1 email, 1 voicemail and 7 Facebooks).

I also had someone reach out to say that they had wanted to wish me a happy b-day before reading this post but couldn't decide what forum was best. Given our casual but still meaningful friendship, FB seemed too impersonal whereas a phone call would've been too personal. So instead she did neither and decided to wait until we saw each other in person this week. Although she relented after seeing my post and sent an email wishing me a happy b-day and explaining her conundrum.

Over the weekend, this topic came up during a 2-hour roadtrip with some close friends. We talked about how Facebook, and the Internet in general, has changed what it means to be friends with someone. It used to be that if you wanted to know what was going on in a friend's life, you picked up the phone and called. Today, you can keep up with tons of people just by watching your news feed and seeing their updates.

To that end, there was disagreement over whether the Internet helps or hinders friendships. On one hand, it's great to be able to stay connected to so many people and know what's going on in their lives. On the other hand, too often we rely on tools like Facebook to stay up to date on our friends and interact with them much less.

Of course, it's all somewhat semantics and depends on how you define the word "friendship." Personally, I believe the Internet has changed that very definition. To me, now, a friendship is a relationship between 2 people that involves regular offline interaction. Meanwhile, the definition of an acquaintance has been elevated from 2 people that have met in passing to 2 people that stay in touch via the Internet.

It's funny, in so many ways the Internet has facilitated deeper one-to-one relationships -- especially, when it comes to marketers and their consumers. At the same time, though, it has facilitated one-to-many relationships with blogs and social networks allowing us to broadcast our every thought and action to the world. The unfortunate thing is that the true definition of friendship seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle.